I have two younger brothers and an older sister. My big sis lives overseas, but our relationship has always been pretty solid. With my brothers, however, the story is much more complicated. And I guess that sort of sums up the whole brotherly-relationship. It’s complicated.
Throughout their whole lives (I had a peaceful 2 years until the first brother came along), our relationship has been like a roller coaster ride. But not those simple family-fun roller coasters. I’m talking about high-throttle, twists and turns, hope not to wet myself type of roller coaster. At times, we’re best friends, us against the world (or our parents). At other times, we’re on the verge of complete war, fists and all. It’s natural for brothers to throw down every now and then, but for us, it stopped the second I realized that my younger brother could totally beat the crap out of me. But don’t tell him that, I never have…
But no matter what, whether our relationship is at its peak, or we’re at rock-bottom, I will always have their backs, and I know without a doubt that they will have mine. It’s called brotherly love.
Brotherly love is not to be taken lightly, and I can honestly say that with all my experience in the brother department, nothing beats having a strong relationship with your brothers. And yes, boys will be boys, even when we’re men. We’ll compete at sports, steal each other’s clothes and argue about who’s the smartest, but all of that is just natural testosterone playing its role. In the end, our brotherly love will always win.
So how can you and your brother make sure that you stay close?
First off, remember the history and embrace it. You guys grew up with the same parents, for better or worse.
You’ve probably dealt with the same teachers, same neighborhood bullies and same annoying aunt who won’t stop pinching your cheeks, even when you already have a beard. So even if today you feel that you’ve got nothing in common, remember the history, that’s gotta count for something.
Also, simply be there one for another. Obviously, you’re gonna see each other at big occasions such as weddings, birthdays and holidays. But make an effort to meet up for the occasional beer or sports game. Go to the gym together. Go cheer at his son’s basketball game. He’ll come to your daughter’s dance recital.
Whatever the case, support each other and make the simple effort to be present in each other’s lives.
And last, but not least, remember that whatever happens in childhood, stay in childhood. Don’t hold a stupid grudge. Don’t blame yourself because you called him fat growing up, and don’t blame him because he called you stupid. Know that growing pains happen to the best of us, and the best way to relieve those pains is to simply let go of the past. No blood, no foul. Forgive and forget. Kids will be kids, just as boys will be boys. So don’t let past bumps in the road prevent smooth sailing in the future.
Appreciate your brothers, cherish them and don’t forget, it’s you guys against the rest of us…